Oscar Mandagaran: an eternal soul.
- georginavargas0
- Mar 25
- 4 min read
Updated: Mar 30
Even with all the heaviness in my body and soul from everything I have lived through, I want to write a few lines to clear the minds of the many people who love him and are wondering how and why.
Everything that happened in the past few days was overwhelming, and my only solace is knowing that his suffering has ended—that he left on the very day when the equinox portal was open, allowing his soul to be catapulted to the highest realms of the universe.
Because magical people are like that—they know when, and when it happens, everything is perfect.
I was able to be by his side and hold him until his very last breath… In my arms, he took that final inspiration that remains and will remain suspended in time.
Thursday, March 20, 2025, at 3:00 AM
Municipal Oncological Hospital Marie Curie, Buenos Aires, Argentina
It all began in 2023 when I noticed his shortness of breath while dancing. I felt that something was wrong, even though he tried to downplay it. Over time, the shortness of breath worsened—he could no longer speak without gasping for air. So we took action.
While in Paris, where we were living at the time, we quickly arrived at the diagnosis, because—by one of those coincidences that are really causalities—we ended up at the Institute of Thoracic Tumors, where, in less than two weeks, they concluded that it was pleural mesothelioma. A malignant and highly aggressive tumor of the pleura for which medicine has no cure. Chemotherapy offers no positive outcomes, and, in the oncologist’s words, "at best, it only delays the tumor’s growth… there's nothing else to be done."
Of course, he did everything in his power. He tried every alternative treatment available, with his incredible willpower and discipline—exploring different therapies, including those that consider the mind as the cause of illness—always with the mystical awareness and tremendously positive spirit that defined him.
When no other options were left, he decided to try his last resort: chemotherapy…
From that moment on, only a few days passed before his final departure.
At first, he refused chemotherapy because he already knew it would not work and would only worsen his quality of life. So he chose to wait—because he wanted to keep dancing and teaching until the very end. And that’s what we did, until Sunday, January 26, 2025, his last group class at **Salón Marabú** in Buenos Aires.
Then, when he finally decided it was time for chemotherapy, bureaucracy delayed the process for months… In the end, he received only one cycle—that was the only one.
By late December 2024, he was already using morphine along with several other medications. Each day, the amount of morphine he needed to relieve his pain and shortness of breath increased. I say "shortness of breath" because that’s all morphine could relieve—it simply made him perceive his respiratory insufficiency less. Unfortunately, by late January, he had to start using supplemental oxygen… His blood oxygen levels had dropped dramatically… His left lung had collapsed.
Pleural mesothelioma is considered one of the most painful tumors. The pleura thickens and compresses various structures in the thorax.
The thickened, rigid pleura restricts the expansion of the affected lung, reducing respiratory capacity and causing shortness of breath. It also exerts pressure on the mediastinum (the space between both lungs), affecting vital structures such as the heart, trachea, and esophagus.
In fact, even taking a sip of water was painful…
Additionally, it compressed nerves and blood vessels, causing severe chest pain, and, in his case, arm pain as well, since the phrenic nerve was affected. The compression of blood vessels also hindered venous return, leading to lymphedema in his lower limbs, which caused wounds due to the constant drainage of interstitial fluid.
His diaphragm had descended, further complicating his breathing and creating a sensation of tightness in his chest and abdomen.
All of this was a true torment… He needed relief…
He was hospitalized several times, but the last time was on **Saturday, March 15, 2025**, and from then on, everything progressed very quickly…
I stayed by his side 24 hours a day, doing everything I could, even if that meant nothing more than holding him and comforting him…
The day before he entered that deep sleep that would accompany him until his final departure, he told me:
_"I know I am going to die… and it will be very soon… but I want you to be happy."_
He knew…
Many things happened, filled with magic—things that are incomprehensible from a logical perspective, proving the existence of a soul that knows, that prepares, that guides the way.
Our soul travels through time—it moves forward and back along that timeline, which is not really a line…
Then I knew… that it would be at night, in the early hours…
Because I remembered how, in 2021, when singing *Balada para mi muerte*, I felt an unexplainable tightness in my chest and the urge to cry.
In my mind, those verses echoed:
"I will die in Buenos Aires
It will be at dawn
That is the hour when those who know how to die, die."
And my soul showed me that image so that I would stay awake through the nights, waiting for that moment—to hold him, bless his departure, and ask the angels, archangels, God, Hashem to accompany and guide him so that his soul may rest in peace.
And so it was…
Now, his soul is at peace, in the infinite light that contains everything and needs nothing but light.
Thank you for all the messages, for sharing so many memories and anecdotes…
Thank you, because he lives on in each of your stories.
Speak, tell, remember, spread his legacy…
Share his teachings, his phrases, his joy for life.
Every time you do, he comes back to life in your hearts.
In mine, he already does with every breath… It’s inevitable.
We spent almost 20 years together, a full life… filled with love and happiness.
Oscar… You were a sun on this earth, and now you are a star in the sky.
You shone upon us and gave us warmth… and now you continue to illuminate us, sending us all your strength, inspiration, and passion so that we can go on.
Shine high…
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